I never thought it happen to me. But it did. Honestly, this has been one of the hardest things I’ve walked through in my life. But God gets all the glory, without him I couldn’t have made it this far.
Finding out I was expecting a baby was one of the greatest JOY I’ve experienced. Still, I felt so many mix emotions because of my uncertainty, I felt in a very dark place. I was struggling with coming off medication and then my body going through so many changes. Knowing that my mother had difficult and complicated pregnancies, I was expecting for mine not to be easy. I knew what it happen… Around eight weeks of pregnancy, the sickness started. I was not alarmed, but man it was hard!
But It quickly went from bad to worse.
Around my second trimester, I started to get more sick, I didn’t understand what in the world was happening and the doctors didn’t either. We all believed it was gestational and it would go away after the pregnancy was over. My whole pregnancy I was in and out the ER weekly and some weeks daily.
I was 6 months pregnant and I weighed 97 pounds. I was so weak and thin some days I couldn’t make it out of the bed. Through all of this, I prayed.
Every single day I prayed for healing, for physical and mental strength… and most of all, for my baby to be born healthy. I found my mental strength in the Word of God. Psalms 23. I identified myself with the psalmist in this chapter. I was going through The Valley of the Shadow of Death. It literally felt like death, but I rested in the promise that although I was in valleys deep. My shepherd was guiding me till the end.
One night leaving the emergency room we had a car accident. The ambulance came. I felt something wasn’t right. After two hours of getting checked, my doctor gave me the news.
“ I’m sorry to tell you this, but we are going to transfer you to a different hospital. Your baby might come early”
I was only 28 Weeks. At 28 weeks my baby weighed less than a pound. My husband and I broke down in tears. The only thing we knew to do was pray and trust God. Josiah didn’t come that night… After two days being in the hospital I got to go home.
Shortly a week after I got release from the hospital I was back again. This time for a week. During the time there the doctors decided to do a central line and run TPN bag. Doctors were concerned to place it because of the risk of developing blood clots on the main artery. At the time they wanted to see if TPN would work for me. They were not wanting to place a feeding tube in… after being on TPN for 1 month they realize I wasn’t gaining any weight. That’s when they put the tube in.
But there was a joy that was set before me…
When the feeding tube was placed in, my health progressed. I still couldn’t eat, but I was getting the nutrients my body needed it. I was more active, more alive, and especially feeling like myself again. Having a feeding tube It’s uncomfortable at first. But I was so thankful to feel better, and knowing my baby was too.
It was a very hard time. People often ask me how did I do it? And my answer is, by the power and strength of Almighty God. There is a particular scripture God kept declaring over that season of my life.
Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD. These are plans to prosper you and not to harm you. They are plans to give you hope and a future.
I felt like it was ironic God was telling me he knew what he was doing. Where I clearly thought in my mind he had no idea what he was doing. Regardless of what I felt I didn’t lose hope. I believed everything would come together for my good.
J was born. My little guy weighed 4 pounds and 5 oz. From the moment I laid my eyes on him, I tell he was such a fighter. He was not here to give up. He was fighting to breathe and to keep himself alive. I was so caught in the moment I didn’t notice he was struggling. The nurse laid him on my chest for a few seconds and then he was taken to the ICU. Josiah was only there for two weeks. We didn’t stop praying for a miracle!
My husband often says that when difficult times come, he looks ahead to what’s about to happen. I always ask why, and he explains, “We already have the power to overcome. We should confidently face the challenges. We know we will emerge victorious.” It’s the positive outcomes that await us on the other side that excite me. All the blessings that come after we endure the hardships.
Enduring hardships can be understood in two ways: It can be like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They walked through the fire without getting burned or even smelling like smoke. This was because they trusted in God’s deliverance. Alternatively, it can be hitting rock bottom and losing all hope because you struggle to trust in God. An important aspect of experiencing victory is knowing your Creator. You should never doubt the purpose He has for your life.
Holding the feeding tube in this picture was something I asked God for months. Just after three days of having Josiah we took it out!
After giving birth I felt different and better. I wasn’t sick anymore, and I was actually eating like a normal person. I was ready to put those days behind me. Each day presented a challenge. I had to overcome fear. I focused on renewing my mind and accepting that things were different this time. But quickly things changed… One day I woke up and I was sick again. Same symptoms and issues with no explanation or logical reason why. Doctors didn’t really know what to look for because they all thought it was pregnancy related.
A second feeding tube was placed on June 1st, 2017.
and that my friend was hard, discouraging, and frustrating. Because of how bad it was every time I got sick. I tried to do a normal life, but I didn’t feel normal. I didn’t like to go out in public because of weird looks I would get. My husband would always reassure me how amazing and beautiful I always looked. Even when I felt like I was not.
My spirit was weak. I had voices in my head tormenting me day and night. My prayer was the Father would shower me with his love so I could see myself through his eyes. And little by little the more I understood His love for me, my perspective and attitude toward my situation changed. I was no longer depressed about what I was going through. I rejoiced in my trials because I knew I was coming out of it soon. God is faithful, His promises are not lies, they are true. TODAY, I CAN TESTIFY AND SAY I AM FEEDING TUBE FREE!!!
and that my friend, its a miracle itself. I have been feeding tube free for weeks and counting!! I’m on a special diet and can’t eat certain things. But, I NO LONGER NEED A FEEDING TUBE FOR MY BODY NUTRITION!!
MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!
After months and years of testing, I received a diagnosis. It was a stomach motility issue. This issue still causes a lot of sickness to this day.
From Gina's Diary 
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